Random rambling on a Saturday

Everyday is a day you can learn more about yourself and discover what you're made of. Everyday is an opportunity to better yourself at something and a goal is something which makes you able to move forward, because that's life and it's a must. Why? Not because I say so, but because otherwise you'd be left behind and then you'll find yourself unable to establish anything because everyone around you may seem like they have suddenly changed. However they have changed gradually, it was you that had remained oblivious.

I discovered today that I didn't hate cleaning as much as I thought I do, instead I found myself thinking last night how I couldn't wait to clean today and where I would start first and such. Frankly I was amazed. Am I making plans to clean? And I though, this isn't me, or is it? And then I decided, yes, this is me, I like to clean, it makes me feel better. Never though I'd say that. I guess things change when you know you're doing it for yourself and that you're doing it because you want to, not because you're being pushed into it. And also I think I'll make more time to paint, because that's something I also love to do, but I always find myself doing something else.

It's great when you discover small things like this because they make you happy, at least it made me happy to know I had some "wife features" inside me. *giggle*

Have a nice weekend~

About myself (part I)

I decided I wanted to share a little bit about what I like to do. My most favorite thing to do is reading and I love reading even more when it's manga. Why? Because I love seeing human expressions. Even in movie I judge the best acting based upon the way it can actually make you believe the story is real, their pain is real, their love is real. I'm not so attracted to read famous writers as I am to the ones that do it for fun, why? Because you can feel involved, you can almost see the excitement when they receive a good review. I think it's fun that you are able to talk to people that love writing, because it's like stepping in a world where dreams come to life.

Another thing I like is music. Okay, a lot of people like music, but to me, it's like a part of life I couldn't live without. There are constant songs inside my head, some sung by famous artists, some written by not so famous artists and even some written by me. Maybe it's a little weird, but this is me and I like me.

Art, yes, well there is almost always a painting that springs to mind, but the lack of space and lack of tools is holding me down, something I hate. I guess maybe it's also my jobs which wrings out every little ounce of strength. I love painting because it allows me to be me and I don't really care if people go for my paintings or not, it's something I do for me, well, one of the many things.

Maybe somewhere between reading and painting made me want to start a little something of my own, like this blog, because maybe, I thought, there are others just like me that have a bad day and they need to rediscover the things which makes them be themselves.

I'm quite complex and I'm not saying this because I'm a woman, but because there are many things I like and also because my personality is not a constant thing. Nothing is in this world, because change is a big aspect in everyone's lives.

Anyway, anything else I'll share later. Have a good one~

Stereotypes

I never actually thought I would admit this, but some women use the line: "Well, I'm a woman" as an excuse and I realized, man, how typical of human nature, but no, seriously now, I think having stereotypes is really a very bad tool to use as a way to judge someone and I know because I used to do it too. Yup, that's right, we all used to stereotype at one time in our lives, because it's hard not to, especially when you're someone who has faults and, yeah well, who doesn't? I do it because I need at least a guide that says: "hey, this person is your type of person and you could get along". Yeah, but no, that's not all I use it for... I admit it, I often ask people their sign and then develop my relationship accordingly.

Now, the only problem with stereotyping people is that you may meet great, wonderful people, but you might side them because of something like, the zodiac sign or the music they listen to, or even the place they hang out. I know this because on some level I used to do it too, I don't anymore though or at least I try not to. I think you should give people the benefit of the doubt before you judge them, because it's really your loss if you chose a crappy friend over a trusting fellow.

In this life you will meet hundreds of people that will either screw you over, love you, be friends with you, help you etc etc and you need to keep an open mind, because no two drops of water are the same, just like no two people are the same, they might seem on the surface, but what's on the inside may really surprise you.

All best~

Confidence

You hear often enough this phrase: Confidence is the key.Well it's true, it is the key of many doors, such as socialization and uhm, relationships, even doing your work and planning to do something, because without confidence and trust in yourself and the work you do, you, my friend, will not get anywhere. If you want to be the best you have to believe you ARE the best, it's just that easy. Of course, even though it may sound easy it's actually a difficult thing to do. I often loose my confidence when people criticize my work, my personality and even my friends, but I try to stand by, not really believing I'm the best, but simply believing I'm good at something, like I'm good at drawing, I'm good at painting, I'm good at writing, I'm a fairly good friend and a good wife.

A lot of people pay no notice and go on with their lives settling for less because they believe they can't do better, well, I try not to and I hope, you will also try not to settle for less than you deserve. So whenever someone tells you that you suck at something, well they can kiss your ass, because if you really try, you'll find out you can do anything. The secret is, you need to believe it and others will believe it too. 

Just think about it, think about the elections where the candidates are so full of it, that they actually believe the words they lie about and we believe them too, we want to believe them because of their confidence in their speeches. 's why we get such cocky presidents.

About soul mates

Once I wanted to believe, that in this world he term soul mates exists. It sounds nice to know there is someone out there made only for you, someone that presumably only comes once in your lifetime and if you find them, you reach a whole new level of happiness and love, but I think there's more to life than that. I mean frankly, I would hate it, if I only have one shot at truly being happy. I mean let's say your true love is someone who died before meeting you, is someone who lives on the other side of the planet, is someone who already has a family, is a close relative, isn't even born etc. I think it's sad, especially when there are other people who have the ability of making you happy.

I believe in each life we have someone who makes us happy and that happiness leaves a hollow in our heart when we pass on, that's why we feel the empty space in our hearts, but it's not longing for a person in particular, it's longing for the happiness that only comes from love. Then we might have the impression we met some persons in our past lives and it's not a total lie, we might have and we might have been in love with them or we might have been "soul mates" in our past lives, but it's alright if this time around we both find someone else to fill that hole.

Don't be stupid and give up the love you have for the wait of a presumable soul mate. when you feel you are the most happy and you can see yourself spending the rest of your life with that person, just go on and do so. If it doesn't work out, cherish your memories and move on, there are a lot of people in this world who need your love and who want to give you love, don't get stuck. I believe we have an infinite chance at love, but it's up to you when you want to stop and simply cultivate that love into a beautiful relationship that lasts, because even scientists say that you can only be in love up to 3 years, beyond that, it's trust, respect and care.

Don't be afraid to love.

Space

I was thinking lately how men sometimes want to have their own space and weigh their own options and decisions or even to temper their moods. I always, well, almost always understood when it happened to someone else, yet no one seems to understand it happens to me to, a woman. We all need our space so maybe because I am usually cheery, people assume I don't have bad days or days when I just don't want to give a fuck. Sorry for the language, but it's just how I feel. Today I simply do not give a fuck. I just wish to lie peaceful and not have to "act out" as people would need me to be, just today I don't want to force my smile, just today I don't want to please anybody, just not care.

I know it's not a liberty I can afford, but once in a while, when I'm tired and mood-less, I want people to understand and just give me that tiny space where I can kill all feelings and just, I don't know, not have to play the "good girl", "bad girl" or any kind of girl for that matter. I just need to recharge my battery and to refill power source.

I need space.

Normal

When I say the word addiction the first thing that springs in mind to any man is most possibly drugs, alcohol, cigarets and maybe even coffee, but the word addiction sometimes covers a whole unexpected areas of "bad" things. An addiction is more or less a weak point in a human's life be it a woman or a man and most times we are facing that problem unknowingly. For example it could be the fact that you need someone to always be with you, that dependence which makes you very vulnerable when alone and gives you thoughts like being unable to breathe or live without someone else beside you. Ok, so many the word addiction is too harsh, it's more like dependence or let's say a custom or maybe part of a routine you've developed, I'm not sure how to put it. 

Like the constant need to have friends to hang out because by yourself it's just not fun enough or the need to wear golden jewelries or being unable to leave the house without make-up on or the obsession on cars, the need to be always prepared. I guess you could call it an addiction/dependence implemented by society. Why? Because society promotes the happiness that only come with marriage and the normality of bearing children and the need for a woman to beautify herself while the job of sustaining the family falls on the shoulder of the man and so on and so forth. We grow up thinking it's the normal thing to do and the abnormal things are being a loner, not having children, seeing things beyond the boundaries set by religion and we tend to accept it as being a part of man, when it's not.

The freedom of thoughts and the will to surpass what society states as normal is a very possible thing to do, but changing the man itself just proves to be impossible. Why? Because  say you can change one man, he will be the odd one out, the abnormal and nothing is solved. True addictions like alcohol, cigarets etc. are also a tricky situation, why? Because your friends drink, you drink, they smoke, you smoke, they drink coffee, you drink coffee and soon it becomes so normal you can't picture it differently. Society is a hard and cruel burden, because we are born in it and live in it and in the end we succumb to it, because it's normal.