Purpose

We all feel that there's something out there, something destined for us, something only we can do. I once though I wanted to be remembered after I die, to go out with a bang, something that would remind people of me, a trace to prove I have existed. The human mind is marvelous, it gives you ton of possibilities and ton of ideas, you can twist anything in your mind, you can expand anything, you can go beyond any point. For instance, I have some songs in my playlist that take me out of my home and far away, somewhere on an unknown road, provided by my mind. I can see myself traveling on a train, watching as the landscape changes, the sun it sliding across the sky at a minimal pace and I'm happy. In that moment, I'm happy. I don't need money, a purpose, talent, a job, it's just me.

To me a house is stifling. The only time I feel I can breathe is outside.

Life is hard, mostly because I don't have a purpose or a goal. I have a reason to live, but no motivation to do so. Getting a goal is not easy, giving a meaning to this life is not easy. Sometimes I wonder how others do it, other people with no goal, like me. Maybe they have the answer I'm searching for or maybe, maybe there is no answer, maybe everybody is coping in their own way. 

I'm 25. It's scary. People expect of me many things, I expect myself to accomplish many things, yet I haven't go the slightest clue where to begin. I wish somebody would just tell me what it is I need to do. Someone that can tell me what my purpose in life is. I just feel so lost, like I'm 16 years old all over again.