Hope and problems

People say the last thing you will always have for you is hope, but some end up losing their hope a lot sooner than reaching the bottom. I consider myself to be a positive person. Why? Because no matter the situation, I hardly panic and hardly look distressed, because I know I am the solution to everything that is bothering me. It's up to me if I let it bother me or not, maybe it's stupid and naive to think things will solve by them selves eventually, but it always worked for me. How? It's very simple. You need to realize that panicking or crying won't solve the actual problem. Some problems need time, others need your involvement, while some problems are not problems at all, just your refusal to their nature. 

Homosexuality, for example, is not a problem, even if you have those kinds of inclinations, it's other people's problem if they have something against it. 

Being weak is also not a problem, because if it were, the solution is just too simple, straighten up, no one is saying you need to be cold or made of stone, but being weak is something you allow yourself to be and believe me, being vulnerable is the last thing you want to be in this world.

Debts, money, fame, power, all of these are just plain results of your life's work. If you have any of them or none of them is something you hold responsibility over. Because every problem is it's own solution, so if the problem came from you, you probably, no, surely also hold the solution in your hand, but most would rather flaunt their faults and problems rather than solve them. It's a pity, because positiveness can do so much for you. You should never loose hope in yourself, when you are the answer to all of your questions.

The odd one out

I am pretty much an open minded person, so I don't really like to label people or settle for stereotypes, though I find myself in that position several times, I try, because I, too, feel like the odd one out sometimes. It's pretty hard to hang on knowing you are different from the people around you and most times I'm really glad I have friends that like me and accept me the way I am.  Even so, what I'm trying to say here is that it's okay to be different.

You should never be ashamed of who you are, well maybe if your nature hurts other people physically and psychologically. I'm talking mostly about people labeled: geeks, gays, transgendered, ugly etc. There's nothing wrong being yourself even if society says otherwise. There are plenty of reasons other people want to hold you down, mostly because they are all cowards: afraid of the unknown, the different, the stepping out of the pattern.

There's nothing wrong about love. There never was or will be anything wrong about love. Love is never wrong. And I'll repeat it as many times as it is needed, until the thick skull-ed people understand.

Friends

I am really thankful for my socialization skills, why? Cuz I made a lot of friends during my life time, both real time friend and internet friends. I'm sorry that I could not stay in touch with all of my friends but I'm really glad I was able to have them share their precious time with me. They say women have a good memory when it comes to people they had feelings for and I believe that to be true. I will always cherish the people which have been and are dear to me and I haven't forgotten any of them, I still carry them in my mind and heart and wish them the very best. There are some friends with which I unfortunately can't get in touch with, even though I really want to. Sure a lot of things changed and I even got married in the meantime, but I haven't forgotten them and I hope they remember me as well, seldom, at times and wish me for the best.

A psychologist once told me friends are nothing but bandages for old wounds, the more friends you have, the deeper the wound. I don't believe it though, because people even if they are born alone and die alone, weren't meant to be alone. That's why there's so many of us, so we can be friends and help one another, support one another and cherish one another. I'm sorry for all the friends I hurt along the way as I am sure they are sorry they hurt me. Even so, I hope their life holds precious memories, a lot more than we shared together.

The sad part about growing up is you'll meet a lot of new people, people that want to be your friends, unfortunately, only a few of them will be able to stay in your life forever and most will only play a small part in your life. I hope there will come a day when I can meet my old and lost friends once more. 

 

Until then, have a nice life.~

Unrequited love

I think there's no painless love in this world, every kind of love has it's ups and downs, but the most wonderful kind and the most difficult is a love that is unrequited. I remember a saying that went something like this: When faced with a decision of choosing between two people, choose the one that loves you the most instead of the one that you love most. But as usual, I don't follow my own advices, thus I chose the one I love most, because my own person quote goes something like this: I'd rather spend all my life chasing after the man I love , than spending my life with a man that loves me. It's okay for a bit of selfishness in love, it shows how much you love one person, how much you are willing to sacrifice and let go, for the one you love. I left my family, my home town, my friends and moved to where my beloved was living, but I don't regret it. It was a selfish choice on my behalf but then again... the things we do for love.

Unrequited love is painful, but every feeling has its worth, don't let go just because. In life, all the things you want, won't just come to you, you have to make them come, it's about how much dedication you put in your actions. It doesn't mean you love might remain unrequited forever. You need to put your heart out, take chances before you love gets stolen in front of you and if it's too late, learn from that mistake and move on. It's not easy, I'm not going to lie to you, it might scar you for life, but time stops for no one my friend, not even for you. Love comes and goes, even when you think you've grasped it, it might still escape your fingers.

Commitment to one's self

Though I'm not usually a very open person, I like spending the day with myself. Lounging, taking log baths and talking to myself, are a few things I do when I'm in my company. The thing about commitment is that when you are in a relationship one tends to forget one's self and only think of the needs of the loved one. My personal opinion is that you loved one first fell in love with who you are and you should never forget that, if the relationship turns you into someone that forgets oneself then you should get out, now. Losing yourself in love is not a bad thing, but love doesn't last that long when you turn yourself into someone you're not. It's important to have some balance in your love life. and it's not selfish to want some time for yourself.

Since I'm not jobless... *sigh* I'm spending time with myself everyday. I'm trying to get in touch with my other side and it's not bad, not bad at all. I'm thinking of starting to paint again, but I can't afford new tools right now. When I do though, i think I'm going to make a self portrait, my first of its kind.

Have a nice day. ~

The love game

People made love into a game, a game where each player has a role they need to play out in order to win. Both women and men end up playing someone they are not in order to benefit love, but I wonder how long can you hold a role? In one year you can live a fantasy, close up because you can't be the person you are, then explode, leading to fights, leading to beatings, leading to murder? or divorce, leaving empty shells, which used to be once human being. Why would you put yourself through such a heart breaking scene?

In this world there probably aren't a lot of people who would love you for who you are, but those who do most times end up loving you your whole life. So playing and pretending and ending up unable to ever have a relationship or playing out your heart for real, which is it? Which can guarantee you a lifetime of happiness? Because in the end, isn't that what we all want? Sure relationships are hard, because it takes two to make things work, but it's not impossible.

This love game, will you play it?

A man's love

It's quite obvious since men and women have different patterns of built, that they'd have a different opinion and and way of falling in love. I'm not trying to be misogynistic when I'm saying a man's love has a certain depth a woman's will never be able to reach, of course it also depends on people, since love varies a lot even among those of the same gender. Still I genuinely think a man's love is more beautiful, why exactly, I'm not sure myself how to put it. A man yearns for a woman with both his body and his heart whereas a woman, well most women don't need to have sex to fall in love with a man and personally I think that's shallow. Why? Because I believe only it's important to be compatible in bed as well as in feelings. It's stupid to believe a relationship can only work based on feelings only or sex only. Love is a recipe, it needs the right ingredients for it to taste good.

I'm not saying women don't love enough, I'm just saying women love differently, because when we choose a man we also think about the future, they way things are heading, most men don't, they just relive the moment of their love and it's enough. A man's love is simpler yet more complex and maybe that's the real reason women love men, because of the depth of their feelings, because even know we sway them around like we want to, even know they know it too, they let themselves be swayed because they love us. Just how lovely is that kind of love?! Well, some of you may know.